We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
Just saw a 300lb woman fall down. Shes screaming like a beached manatee. Her 120lb boyfriend is trying to push her up. It's like watching an infant try to bench
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
Do you remember trying to make pizzas with the domino workers last night...while trying to speak their language with them.. spanish?
And I'm sorry for punching you in the face when I drunkenly threw my sandwich
I put a bagel at the end of my bed so every time I want a bite I have to do a sit up
Operation terrify all men while simultaneously make them fall in love with me is going quite swimmingly so far
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
Well now you know not to take drugs from your friends. Take it from stangers. They're more reliable.
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
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