If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
She texted her brother about how much she loved his hot tub. He responded three days later that he wasn't aware he owned a hot tub.
Good news. Hiccups are gone. Bad news. I had to set the bathroom rug on fire to get rid of them. Don't come home until the fire truck leaves.
I thought it was my alarm clock, turns out it was her vibrator still going off on the side of my face.
"DO YOU LIKE FLYING KITES" WORKED AS A PICKUP LINE. SUCK IT.
Please tell me I made it home with both shoes on
Nope
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
I just watched some kid bang his girlfriend and I was like whatever I'll just sit here and do all your fucking drugs that's fine
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
I now have a "weirdest thing a guy ever did in bed" story. Cut my fingernails.
Yeah I'm gonna need you to stop it right there.I know this is supposed to be a safe space but Imma have to exit.
The fact that I’m not married yet means there are millions of lucky girls out there who have dodged a bullet
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