I just farted at work and tried to cover up the noise by shuffling papers around
Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
Come back. She's looking through naked pics of his exes on his phone and questioning him about them and I'm too drunk to walk away.
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
No judgement. Sometimes you gotta twerk on a legends face.
Right now I'm drinking out of a gallon water jug & eating a baconator. If you're feeling down, just remember you could be me.
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
Dude, he danced with the dog that some random chick was carrying at the bar. Then the dog jumped out of his arms and ran away. THAT definitely deserves a drink.
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
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