Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
apparently it's not kosher to shit in a litter box when there's a line for the bathroom
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
I give up. I can't handle that class sober any longer. I have an army of whiskey shooters for the next three weeks. Wish me luck.
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
You threw up at the outdoor bar and it was pretty...astonishing just how much can come out of such a small human.
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
Randomize
