the ugly redhead just came into the bar, wearing a sombrero...by herself... who is going to tell her that its not cool to throw themed parties when you're the only guest?
Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
Tonight is one of those "I'm wearing a shirt as a dress" nights because I need to get laid.
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
No she stopped screaming. Now she's eating popcorn. Off a plate. With a spoon.
Just came during my obgyn appt. I need to get laid.
If he breaks up with me, your job is to keep me drunk and make sure I don't sleep with anyone. Ok?
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
I swear to go if the response she sends me something along the lines of who the fuck is Mark Hamill I might need to brake up with her.
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
Randomize
