normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
If relationships were based on ego stroking and meaningless sex, we'd be soulmates
Her boobs looked like leather oven mitts. No more cougar hunting for awhile.
The freshman came home at 9 this morning with one heel, no pants, and a strangers sweatshirt covered in tequila-scented vomit. I think we're done corrupting her for a while.
Did you really end last night's sexting with "Stay thirsty my friend"?
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
That's the point of day drinking, get fucked up by 6pm so you can get stuff done the next day. It's the adult thing to do.
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
Apparently it's illegal to hit pedestrians with coke cans... But the cop complimented my arm. That's a win in my book.
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
I'm pretty sure the rest of my evening will consist of masturbating, drinking tequila and watching children's movies.
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
I gave her the last ten dollars to my name and bitch comes back with a six pack of bud light and a pack of sour patch kids
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