haha my mom just sent us out to go to all of the hair cutting places to ask for hair because deer ate all our zuchini.. and we have to pee in a bucket all day cause deer hate urine. please tell me we are normal?
i cant lie to you.
The police scanner is talking about you again....
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
I'm sorry that spending new years with you was fucking my boyfriend in your bathroom multiple times
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
Mate, you pissed in my bed. Then told me to "Just keep swimming"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In case you were wondering how drunk I was last night, there was an unopened slim Jim in front of my door and I ate it.
SHE'S PREGNANT AS SHIT, AND I JUSR PEELED A CLEMENTINE TO CHASE SHOTS WITH!! COULD LIFE GET ANY BETTER!?
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
He signed my ass with a Waffle House pen.
Walked into the bathroom and saw a Minion eating out Harley Quinn so this Halloween will be hard to top.
I almost got decked by a guy who looked like Mr. Clean. How was your night?
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