Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
Things I love twice as much when drunk: Taco Bell. Office chairs that roll. Classes.
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well the nurse forgot to take all my stitches out, so my surgical tools are peroxide, kitchen scissors, fingernail clippers, a pocket knife, and 11 beers. Let's do this...
I thanked her dad for "firing off a good one" when she was conceived. She said thats why he doesnt like me.
3pm strippers are depressing
javelin tossed one of my crutches in to the mosh pit at the concert, hit some dude in the temple hahah fuck him he sucks
I picked up the bartender so he could open the bar early and ended up with him giving me a ride home when he closed. I like snowdays and everything, but they get really expensive. Also, I think I threw up on his front door. Not checking.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In case you were wondering, yes I did just watch the Katy Perry movie alone on a Saturday night. I'm so alone it makes a noise.
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
Today has been hell. Also I saw a dead man's penis. It's safe to say I will be getting very drunk tonight.
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
I just woke up, dressed as Chris Brown, with a bunless hot dog (presumably from 7/11) in my pocket, wearing a pair of shoes I don't recognize as my own. Help.
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