so you masturbated because Oprah told you?
walked into the kitchen nd asked my mom what smells like tuna she replies" your sister" now i cant eat tuna...EVER!!!
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
LSD in a sugar cube. Dropped it in my whiskey sour and felt like I was rowing a boat.
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
There are so many things that would come back to haunt me if I ran for President someday.
like that video of you mad stoned vomiting in the bdubs parking lot after going to a pizza buffet screaming how you needed to make room for froyo
Wat
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
It makes showers more interesting trying to drink a gin and tonic and keep soap out of my eyes at the same time.
You need to calm down.
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
Hey, it's Valentine's Day weekend and were single and off our periods. Let's live like queens.
I hate political talk. I just wanna get fucked into an alternate universe where Bernie Sanders is president.
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