I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
The entire time I'm blowing him she's in the back seat lecturing me on the reasons why you're not suppose to do that while they're driving...
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
I keep having to have that awkward "I don't want to have sex with you" convo. I thought wearing sweatpants was suppose to prevent this situation..
Managed to get through family dinner without anyone knowing I was tripping balls. Christmas miracle. He exists.
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
I told her the job opening requires being on the phone during the week and on my face on the weekends. I think she wants the job.
He's under the table sobbing because he doesn't live in a taco if you ever get him this high again I will stab you
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
Just used an eyelash curler to open my beer since I didn't have a bottle opener. Things are starting to look up.
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
Randomize
