I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
I just sneezed everywhere.....everywhere. Now no one will talk to me.
I'm glad you talked me out of that flying penis tattoo.
just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
Went to my car this morning. Found a waffle from Waffle House in the front seat. No idea how it got there. So hung over I ate it.
She thinks she's a fairy, dude. A real fucking fairy with wings and shit.
You ordered 6 boxes of pizza and laughed in the pizza guys face when you didn't pay for any of them.
Cops busted the party. A kid dressed as a dinosaur tried to crawl out the bathroom window but his tail got stuck. It took 3 cops to pry him out.
When the cops pulled up I just stood flat against the fence with my hands up while yelling out,"I'm a tree!!"...
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
the most terrified I've ever been was seeing Danny Devito squirming on the ground in this underwear, covered in hand sanitizer, completely hairless
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