Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
I was so proud to be driving sober that I wanted to get pulled over so I could tell the officer I hadn't been drinking.
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
my liver gets a handicap on account of the whole being diseased thing
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
I like the fact that you've for some reason taken my penis into protective custody
My one night stand from last night is currently mowing my lawn for me.
I felt like a responsible adult. A responsible adult that may or may not end up shitfaced. But not heaving purple puke into a urinal like last time because I'm classy now.
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
He's ruined me. Do you know how frustrating it is to know I'll never find another guy as tall and handsome and rich with as big of lips & booty, and cock as him who also rims and takes me on tropical vacations and buys me all the cocaine.
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
Randomize
