OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
and this is why i am such an inspirational person, i am the Joel Osteen of alcoholics.
i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
Well... first you killed the girls goldfish, then you shoved her face in your armpit, made her cry, got kicked out, ate your cigarettes, and passed out in her driveway. Pretty successful night if you ask me
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
I kept resisting the urge to yell "2 for 2!" so they could hear me on the other side of the wall.
I told her I had a small penis. Then replied if Peter Pan won with a dagger then so can I
You shouldn't play strip poker when you're having a wet fart kind of day.
She sent me a video of herself sitting in the car stone faced listening to the Titanic song on silence. She won't answer my texts.
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
Randomize
