dude. I'm so drunk.
pete, this is bryce's mom
I can't wait to have my cock in your ass
pete, this is still bryce's mom
dude, that chick is coming to see me and stay for 2 nights. I'm hitting the 3rd in the trifecta of friends.
You're one hell of a depraved bastard dude, I'm borderline speechless. You officially win.
They all have matching tattoos so they're all official bffs. I love my life.
how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
Every time I hit my bowl my neighbors set off fireworks... I stop, they stop. I start again, they start again. Too high for this.
She called me her ex's name in a supermarket. How boring am I that she livens up shopping by thinking of another guy?
scratched cornea got me an eyepatch and a blowjob from a girl with a thing for pirates
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
I just spent the better half of my Friday night alone, naked eating McDonalds. Not my worst start of a new year
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