your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
...you put a chicken patty in my toaster last night..
period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
My dad walked in on me masturbating in my own apartment.....my own apartment!!
the bar just sent me a facebook message congratulating me on being a regular and getting such good grades. my life is not real.
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
You would think a husband, a boyfriend, and a vibrator would be enough. But sadly it's not
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
You have a husband. I have a bag full of electronics. This, is the single life.
Update: my mom just told someone to shut up and suck her dick
I found half a candy bar in my bra today... Melted to my nipple. What a mess. It was still good though.
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