We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
I love how my phone automatically capitalizes Margarita. R-e-s-p-e-c-t.
all I've ever wanted was a guy with twelve cats who will tie me up in bed
Well you know I have tits so that's half the battle
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
I'm waiting for your stupid pizza and this 400 lb drunk man is behind me singing the acapella version of Elevation by U2
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
I just woke up and there was a condom wrapper stuck in my hair. This is my life.
Didn't you sleepover at your grandparents?
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
They are in the bedroom next door. We might have a threesome idk. Jesus take the wheel.
GO. DO.
I am Jesus and I am taking the wheel.
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