I like to think it a success when the cops are called
shhh. i hid the ranch dip behind the rooster. don't tell anyone that way you can find it in the morning and it won't be all eaten.
wrong number but thanks
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
i woke up next to the toilet with a chipped tooth, somebody elses shirt on, and a random guys id in my pocket
I have shoes on. No pants. And my jacket pockets are full of ketchup and grass. Yes. Good night.
apparently breaking a beer bottle and then throwing up in a urinal is a terrible way to pick up girls.
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
If I can't pick up a cat lady, I probably need to turn to Internet dating.
I just wanna be craddled in his arms and spoon fed applesauce..
that's the most romantic thing you've ever said.
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
So we just smoked a bowl, out of an antler, with this old dude, while standing at the bar. Dude just walked up and said we were in his spot, just began packing it and handing it around...
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
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