You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
Can you put "designated driver" on a resume?
Welp, she's chewing our paper towels again. She's like an obnoxiously hot puppy
I have vodka an food stamps. At some point today, that will undoubtedly turn into jello shots.
There r osticjed everywhere
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
I'm not really into her personality. Not that we've ever looked for personality in women.
That's only a quality to look for in a second marriage.
perfect irony that i'm celebrating international women's day with a yeast infection
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
in a last ditch attempt to make life awkward after i die today i want to be buried naked and have an open casket funeral.
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
You're moving up the public shitting ladder
Randomize
