so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
Saw a guy pass out and hit his head on a urinal. Laughing too hard to help him up
I've hit an all time low of asking baristas what would go good with marshmallow vodka. I think I might hire one to party with all of us. To make hangover drinks
Want to come over? I'm getting stoned and watching Netflix and making s'mores over a candle in my room
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
Imagine getting smashed in the dick by a basketball. A basketball made of metal. With spikes. That's pretty much what his dick looked like.
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
It's gotten so bad I typed my will out on my phone in case it's over.
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
I opened my bookbag to put my laptop in and I found two granola bars and a pregnancy test. I am clearly prepared for life
A boy just offered to come over and help me clean my house. I hope you are more successful than he will be tonight.
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