what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
Her birthday cake consisted of a shot of tequila with a candle in it
My face smells like vagina and Im on my way to court. Fuck.
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
I danced on the street to dubstep on a boombox for an hour with a lesbian single mother.
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
Remember when I asked you to make sure I didn't go home with anything less than a 6 last night? You're fired
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
Seriously babe, why do I keep waking up with bruises on my nipples? WHAT ARE YOU DOING TO ME IN MY SLEEP?
Actually, scratch that, I'm not sure I want to know.
I'm ready to get married, then we can lie around watching anime and eating pizza while he rubs baby oil on me
If I'm legally allowed to go to jail than I should legally be allowed to tell a cop to fuck off. Basic principles.
Yea, but did you really have to throw a sandwich at him??
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
how do you say “i know we haven’t hung out in a month, but i gave myself an amazing orgasm to your picture the other day” without coming on too strong
Randomize
