Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
That's ok. I found a crab leg in my bed and have no pants on.
Drunk you is everything I aspire to be in life.
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
Your 13 year old niece and her best friend half carried you from the beach to the pool where you then clung onto a raft and screamed about having pretty hair.
No...this little piggys going to the bar
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
the bandages come off on Tuesday. we can try out my new breasts then.
Henceforth: booty calls will now be referred to as "deliveries of anatomy". That is all.
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
You're the best thing in my life, followed closely by cannabis and trashy romance novels
Welcome to your 30’s, where every one night stand is most likely with someone’s father
I really love you. Like, more than tequila...& we both know that's my favorite.
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