She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
Did you know that when you swallow it's like 60 calories!?
That's okay, it's all protein anyway.
i guess you could say your face is two degrees of separation from my balls
She loves me even though she knows all Ive done. Shes kind of like jesus.
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
Using the ceiling fan to slice the hotdogs in mid-air can only be contributed to our liberal use of 1800.
not the best booty call
did she squirt?
only if tears count
It was my little brother's 14th birthday today. Didn't know what to get him so I just showed him how to use incognito tabs on google chrome.
I thought I was smashed last night but the girl trying to pee in the fridge had me beat. True story.
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
Do you think I can get away with quoting Work Bitch by Britney Spears in my speech?
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
Randomize
