I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
Bartending School is so much more enjoyable now that I realized I was in rehab at this time last year.
Does peppermint hummus sound good or am I just high?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You caught me at a bad time. I'm stoned enough that I'm ready to sleep but also not stoned enough that I wanna smoke again but also stoned enough to not wanna drive anywhere
I'm having leftover pizza for breakfast. I'm clearly not the greatest at this adult thing.
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
Can we just agree for a moment that semen in your sinuses is the fucking worst?
How do you explain to your kids that you met their mother well you were giving her a gynecological exam??
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
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