morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
Dude you just tried to have a one night stand with my ex girlfriend while we were trying to put you to bed upstairs.
but that still doesn't explain how i woke up on the couch down stairs.
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
So, do you ever feel like EVERY SINGLE ONE OF YOUR FRIENDS IS INVOLVED IN A MASSIVE AND INTRICATE CONSPIRACY TO COCKBLOCK YOU AT ALL COSTS?
On the bright side his mom approves of me. Though it's apparently because she sleeps with married men and has a soft spot for "fellow homewreckers"
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
Do you count doing $200 of coke off his dick until 6am as a successful rekindling of our relationship or...
I should send him a pic of my crotch with the caption "thanks for the memories"
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
I just want cinnabon and vodka.
IM HAMMERED AND JUST HAD CHEESECAKE THAT MADE ME FEEL LIKE NO MAN HAS EVER MADE BE FEEL BEFORE.
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