Holy cold harsh reality of sobriety batman
i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
it was like having sex with a tree stump
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
He broke up with his gf yesterday so he could give me our annual Christmas sex at midnight.
Marry him. Now.
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
At least Shia Labeouf would encourage me to do this drinking contest
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
and then she asked if she could shave my junk
and howd that go?
can you pick me up from the hospital?
Randomize
