mimosa in my stainless steel water bottle. going green is not that bad.
Awww. A guy on the train just took his coat off so his girlfriend could throw up into it. Who says chivalry is dead?
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
Holy shit. This 2 year old just told me her nipples were for her boyfriend. Hello future leaders of america
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
All I need right now is some mouthwash, dignity, and security camera footage...
We invited our waitress tonight to come too.... we told her she had lightning in her veins and in return she taught us a Texas Roadhouse dance so the logical next step was invite her to a kegger.
Just to update you. I am dead. So your probably gonna have to find a new roommate
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
I just watched an intern spill two trays of coffee inside a spinning door
Best exit from a building ever
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
I'm drunkenly throwing popcorn at a spider, fuck him. Why does his scary 8 legs get to be happy?
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
Randomize
