All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
Is today national text-a-girl-whose-had-your-dick-in-her-mouth day and I just wasn't aware?? I am getting the most random "just saying hey" texts ever and that's the only common denominator.
didn't know how to tell his mom I was confused about how long we'd been together because we banged for a full year before making it official
Take this only to mean that we love you, but we're having a serious, half-hour, hypothetical discussion about how far we think we could throw you.
Taking shot for every red box on your worst bracket. I have 30. I might die tonight.
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
I definitely paid for a case and a fifth and all I got was 6 beers and a crown and coke. Wtf. Bar math sucks
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
He sent me a picture of his dick saying "your throne my lady" for my birthday. He knows the way to my heart.
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
Bro.. I am absolutely going to have sex with our old middle school health teacher
My roommate just yelled at me for coughing. I'd like to yell at her for doing lines off our counter last night.
Randomize