come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Obama is so hot when he ends wars.
We're sitting in his room writing songs about America. There's a verse about a dead dog. There's tequila everywhere.
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
Which genius got me a voicemail of myself puking?
Monday is now my bitch. I just did 20 naked push ups on the bar for $20
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
i’m just listening to christina aguilera’s “your body” on repeat and trying not to pass out at my desk.
I told him I had an IUD and he asked me how was a bomb a form of birth control..
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
Does anyone remember last night? Because I still don't know why I now own a goldfish and a ceiling fan made of pizza?
I'm actually on the verge of cancelling a booty call because I have an early meeting tomorrow. If this is what adulthood is going to be like, I'll pass.
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