I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
I wanted to tell him he wasn't actually in me, but my god, awkward?
maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
He's like the fucking Houdini of bras. Not only did I not feel him take it off I didn't find it until two days later.
He showed me a four inch blond hair that grows out of his side. He calls it his little ray of sunshine. Please come get me.
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
I'm inventing beer flavored vodka. This raspberry shit makes me feel like a pussy.
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
just upper decked a verizon store cause they don't cover against "getting phone crushed by a keg." had to pay 175 for a new one
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
Alas, very true. I'll sell some of my eggs and give you like 10%
And with my 90% I'll get a scooter with a sidecar. And a pony. Also with sidecar.
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
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