just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
He just sent me a winky face in the middle of setting up a drug deal. You don't do that.
I want him in the "you're a terrible idea and are probably going to get me killed by my parents, my siblings, and my boyfriend" way
This whole bra on the outside of my shirt thing is so convenient. It turns my shirt into a pocket to eat Fritos out of. Mmm boobies
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
Hi you snuggled with me in my bed in a maid outfit
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
I was "singing along to the Lego Movie" high. Everything was not awesome
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
I went from swearing off of sex to planning a threesome. It's been a rollercoaster of a day.
Umm my dog ate your vibrator. Sorry 😬
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
Randomize
