mutual masturbation is only cool if cash money records is involved.
he also called and said i only cheated on you 8 times but they were all trannies
and someone in the background yelling "one was fat so that counts as one and a half"
It's pretty bad when the convenient store clerk can tell you that you're earlier than usual for visiting the store.
I have the worst wedgie. Seriously. Its horible. And there are people everywhere around me.
Slide your hand down the back of your pants and shift to the side slowly
...are you coming on to me?
Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
I told my dad that bagels were the equilelent of angels kisses and if he bought me one i would do a split
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
We broke up in downtown Nashville with drunken, blow up penis waving bachelorette parties walking by. For some reason I can see this ending up as a country music video.
It's a given that you're going to get peed on at a country concert
Fuck underwear. Let's get stoned and eat ravioli.
Dude, double fisting packs of Ramen saved my life last night
Wanna get mid day margaritas tomorrow if I'm still alive
HOW CAN YOU EXPECT ME TO KEEP YOUR SECRETS IF YOU KEEP ON TELLING ME THEM.
I had fresh baked oatmeal cookies, tacos AND was on deck to give a stellar blow job. You'd think that'd be a win/win/win situation.
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
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