Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
you were definitelymotorboating random chicks as they walked out of the bar. just like, down the line. you kept yelling "Motor Boats for everyone!!!!"
you're out of your mind
you look like daphne blake and he looks like fozzie bear
it's like he rubbed a lamp and wished you into existence
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
We stayed in and smoked weed and watched Dreamgirls. We made each other's vaginal lips sing the songs. Mine was Beyonce, hers was Jamie Foxx. I think this is one of those times you're jealous you're not an awesome lesbian.
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
I said "I am wrapped in the Cocoon Of Comfort! You should go." He started to argue and I yelled "COCOON OF COMFORT!!!" silencing him
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
My neighbor is burning all of her ex's things in a metal drum outside the window. Guess who's going to make a new friend?
Listen. You dont know how advanced you are in yoga till you have to shave your butthole
2020 sucks, I want a refund
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