Hey I have to teach you how to run in heels before vegas
New swimming pool is best sex toy ever. We are pioneering the doggie-style paddle.
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
My bullwhip has saved my life tonight and gotten me laid. I'm gonna be Indiana Jones every Halloween!
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
I threw up in the darkest corner of the bar last night, then watched 2 girls freak out in disgust after walking through it. I then realised I puked on the dancefloor, took a picture and proceeded to send it to my mom.
It wasn't a basement apartment, it's his parents basement. And he wanted to show me his pet tarantula collection. I NOPED THE FUCK OUT!
You called me last night and said you had a vision that a cat made you a sandwich. You were tripping way too hard
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
So....I just took a paddle fan on high speed to the side of the head while getting head...still finished the job, good thing I'm drunk and couldn't feel it.
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
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