so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
i woke up to the sound of my dad getting blown. this is my life
First if all, whoever designed penis shaped ice cubes is clearly daring me to shove them up my vagina
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
A guy in a banana suit just got the whole bus to participate in a call and response version of Bohemian Rhapsody. HERO
I told her I didn't have a condom. She then sized me with her thumb and finger and tossed me a large. Then I asked her to marry me.
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
I just racked up a fucking ginormous hospital bill because I came so hard I had an asthma attack
When we were in Vegas he tried to get an Elvis impersonator to act dead on a toilet so he could take photos. This is even worse
So there we are, fucking beneath the Christmas tree and I glance up and see one of the local Jehovah's witnesses staring in horror through the decorative glass in the front door. I'm so proud of us.
He expects a blow job at the movies but won’t pay for popcorn? Does he know it’s not 2017 anymore
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