watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
I'm the only adult here not drinking and their 2 year old daughter is trying to play dolls with me.. I've never been so demoralized in my life.
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
I'm waiting at the bar and am surrounded by unattractive women.
You need to get here and rebalance this disturbance in the force.
Just blew a guy who had the same phone case as me. It was destiny.
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
Went to a club yesterday was dirty dancing with this guy, reached back to move my hair and punched him in the face.
ANTI-GAME
I am so proud to call you my friend
Dude I can't beleive you didn't wake up. I literally f'd her IN THE DISHWASHER. Btw I'm pretty sure I also kinda broke the dishwasher.
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
Randomize
