i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
He just asked me to pee through my panties while he watched. I might need more tequila for this one.
YAY! I just removed my own stitches, and I'm only bleeding from one spot! on a related note, do you think a dishwasher will sterilize forceps and trauma shears?
premonition: im going to wake up covered in mashed potatoes
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
How drunk is too drunk to be on an airplane?
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
He punched me in the face while giving him road head, because he was driving stick. I shit you not.
Randomize
