Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
At the miami airport. Don't know if it's all the tequila I drank in cozumel or the 5 year olds french accent but I might puke.
First day at work... I clogged up the office toilet on purpose to assert my dominance.
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
We could supplement the Tour with Edward Andre-hands. Because 40s are for the 99%.
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
I want to see boobs tonight. Like, real ones. Your ones.
I'm romantic.
You cant come. You're a Colorado native who drinks Bud over Coors. Fucking homegrown terrorist.
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
Randomize
