She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
me texting you is like we have secret walkie talkies.
I ran out of diet so I'm mixing captain with a juice box. Being a mom has finally paid off.
I'm starving. my midnight snack, aka a teaspoon of cum, isn't holding me over
So apparently I ran down the hall to another party and started handing out uncooked spaghetti to strangers. You'd be surprised how many drunk people will eat raw noodles.
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
I can't even properly respond cuz I'm ballsdeep in falafel
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
Don't do shots out of Tostitos scoops.
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
I caught myself caressing my own hand while nurturing a glass of bourbon. I think it's time to get back out there.
You gotta come over now. He is eating cupcakes while they are still in the foil.
My manager is trying to help me find a good career path, and I'm trying to find a professional way to tell him I just wanna smoke and fuck.
Randomize
