Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
Practice the "sorry I may have given you herpes" conversation with me before I call him and break the news
APPARENTLY giving your friend one of your shoes so that you avoid the no shoes no service rule makes you drunk...
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just ate a whole pizza and threw it back up in the time span of 13 minutes. give me the number to guiness book of world records.
apparently you can't crawl through the drive-thru window
He says he quit drinking. I'd like to have a moment of silence for losing the best drunken hookup ever. We will build a memorial to his awesome cock.
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
That stripper was not happy when I tried putting a dollar in her court mandated ankle bracket/tracking device
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
So I'm dropping a fat deuce at work, and the lock on the stall door slips and the door slides open, when suddenly someone comes in. Now I have two options, I can either get up quickly and try to shut the door quickly (not easy to do with one hand) or I can just sit there and play it off like it's no big deal and I always dump at work with the door open. I chose option two, and it was as awkward as it sounds.
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
My entire news feed is ice bucket challenges. I wish there was a hide from feed button like FarmVille
The stall at this bar had mirrors all around. I just looked at myself take a shit from like 3 different angles
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
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