just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
everyone is single if you try hard enough
So i just bought beer on a credit card, using a fake ID, while wearing my nametag from work. All 3 have different names on them. God i love my boobs.
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
i'm getting the "you hooked up with my friends" speech from him. i'm returning with the "gotta keep my quota up" speech
I'm single as of 11 minutes ago. I was the chick who drunkenly tried to climb into bed with you 2 weeks ago. Wanna make this happen?
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
In her drunkenness, she packed a bag with tequila, two shot glasses, salt, a knife, and two pears. She was prepared but too high to distinguish pears from limes.
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
The Easter sex puns were too abundant
How do you say, "I love you, but i prefer sex with someone else." in a good way? Ponder that over a jack and coke and get back to me.
Randomize
