I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
he shaved USA in his pubs
he was chasing shots of soco with fistfuls of my birthday cake
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
So i told him he was the 3rd i have ever slept with and then i found out he had actually slept with 5 other girls besides me. And his reply was well your number one on this hand.
You picked me up and threw me on a barstool and shoved shots in front of me.
Thats like the definition of a good friend
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
She keeps asking if I've seen him... For the last time YES... IN MY BED LAST FRIDAY NIGHT AND THEN AGAIN SATURDAY MORNING
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
Did we kick in my basement door last night?
Yes. I think you actually bought tennis shoes specifically for that application.
Just stole my moms weed, left a note saying sorry.. Hope she isn't mad.
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