Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
So apparently after he gets hammered, falls down a set of stairs and gets a concussion, he can still come home and find a way to play his guitar solo bullshit as loud as possible while i seduce my date...
Let me just inform you of my purse contents right now. Three cum rags, a sock full of cum, xanax, and a fake moustache. This is my life.
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
Well see how he likes it when I randomly start crying and saying my dads name during sex I WILL RUIN ALL HIS FUTURE BONERS
YOU NEED TO STOP BLOWING DUDES ON MY COUCH AT MY PARTIES
YOU NEED TO STOP PROVIDING TEQUILA AT YOUR PARTIES
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
I accidentally left my shirt at my booty calls house. He washed it & hung it up for me in his closet. I can't decide if that's sweet or creepy
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
I am 95% sure I just heard my cat say "What are you doing home? It's Saturday night."
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
Randomize
