i fucked some guy last night. i called him nick jonas by mistake. i'm 24.
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
I drank gravy. I actually drank gravy. This is heaven.
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
Well im sitting on a futon on a porch at 1:30 in the afternoon drinking boxed wine out of a pint glass next to a chick with a homemade neckbrace. What do you think?
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
does the cute hipster in the kitchen belong to you?
if not i want to bang those glasses off his face
The neighbor just yelled bring me back that big red alien penis.
The girl neighbor.
when I die covered in cocaine, hookers, and tequila at 73 years old just remember that I once had a tweet with that many retweets
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
We knew it was an interesting night when we found my thong wrapped around a chocolate chip muffin in the fridge.
I'm only coming over if you have cocaine or a snickers bar
I just got baptized.
Drunkenly skinny dipping in a indoor hotel pool is not okay and does not count as a baptism.
Randomize
