I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
I was eating out this girl yesterday and when I finished, she asked me if I wanted to take any home with me. She was serious, dude!
What does that even mean?
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i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
ugh i can't even wear this perfume anymore. it just brings back blurry memories of blowjobs and regret.
But Monday we'll be living in a post-apocalyptic hellscape. Also, I'm going to a champagne tasting.
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
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I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
you dont know your limits until you wake up with a black eye and a bruised rib and find out you got ran over by a bicycle last night
I wouldn't call us friends exactly. Honestly I just hang out with him so I can hit on his girlfriend. They won't last long, and I'll be there to pick up the scraps
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
HE’S PUKING UP BLOOD
okay all good I mistook strawberita for blood...
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