Sometimes I wonder if we could be friends if we lived closer.
Did you just throw up mid-sentence?
There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
I was found on the hood of someone elses car... Who would've thought there were 2 white nissans?
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
if you do the accent, i'll wear the eyepatch
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs
So...a chick sucked my crank...now her dog is licking my feet. I feel like a pharoh on vacation.
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
Randomize
