Kelly, is this rhetorical, or sarcastic? You are very kind & quite beautiful, but we never really evolved into anything & your prevailing ambivalence spoke more than words ever could.
"We" really do not exist-if we ever did. Both of us may have been hoping for more than was possible.
I would enjoy sitting down to talk about the dissolution, but think it may end up being counter productive.
Why is it that every time I type the word "give" my phone spells out HIV?! You know how many people i've told I want to HIV them something!
Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
I am wearing two different shoes and just swallowed my gum. Wake the fuck up and bang the bartender already.
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
So never has there been a greater Valentine's Day gift than you actually putting a new roll of toilet paper on for me after using the old roll up! You didn't even use the new roll. You clearly put that on from a gentleman's standpoint vs. a selfish standpoint. I love you!!!!
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
After I was kicked out of the last frat I blacked out, woke up in the hospital with no clothes no phone and no idea what happened last night. But i got hospital socks, thats a win in my book.
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
Btw, how did you break into my room, and why did you decide that covering the mushrooms with a blanket was more secure than a lock on my door?
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
Randomize
