well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
I knew as soon as he opened a beer with his teeth to shotgun it that I was going to sleep with him. I'm never going home.
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
Note to self, stop going out with self absorbed bisexuals
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
He took me out, we slept together, and he sent me home this morning with fresh cantaloupe. #husbandstatus
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
I found a used condom and a hairbrush in my dryer this morning.
Hiring someone to do your laundry would be a good investment.
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
Randomize
