he puts the penis in happiness.
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
Until she magically finds a brain, I'm going to be a dick. Fair trade. She's a idiot, I'm an ass.
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
I asked the subway guy how many cookies he thought I could smuggle into the bar. He said it looked like a 6 packer. he was correct
Some girl just walked passed me, said "fuck yeah!" and is now crawling up the stairs
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
Just wore the promise ring dad gave me freshman year of high school as a fake wedding band while I bought a pregnancy test. I think it's safe to say that's not what he had in mind with that gift 14 years ago.
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
Don’t drink the Bloody Mary - it’s vodka and salsa.
Randomize
