Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
two fat guys on crotch rockets just invited me to 'party' with them at a del taco. why does this keep happening to me?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
What's a "vodkaffle"?
It's where she puts vodka in the waffle mix.
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
I'm not sure whom I'm texting but I put you in my phone as last nights fuck budy, and I'm just curious if I left my clutch with you?
He wants to buy me a drink to apologize for sending me a pic of his dick. Welcome to my life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Some girl just ordered Chinese delivery to her therapy appointment...
I was eating leftover taco bell in bed at 3 in the afternoon. I can't throw any stones
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
Listen, you can either give me drugs or an orgasm. You decide.
He took a shit in my shoe. A part of me is livid and a part of me is impressed because that’s some real evil genius.
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