I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
I can't be the first person ever who had to explain why her bottle of orange juice had a picture of a screwdriver drawn on it
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
If you can't find your cat in the morning it's cause i put him in the laundry basket and then put the laundry basket in the shower.
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
Mate, you pissed in my bed. Then told me to "Just keep swimming"
If you need anything just hit me up
Pancakes
Noted.
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
We were sexting and i didn't know what to say, so i said i wanted to wrap him in tortillas and devour him like a burrito. then i went on by saying that i liked my burritos with a lot of cheese.
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
I knew how high you were when you put a french fry in your mouth and said 'fuck, this tastes like meat but feels blue.'
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
Apparently I was carrying around a bottle of listerine calling it 5 loco
Randomize
