so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
This was just another one of those days you wished you had a penis-size indicator instead of wasting your time isn't it?
I think you begin to realize how unfair life really is when you're high and you discover that the new box of fruit by the foot on your shelf is actually empty
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
Apparently coming home smelling like I took a bath in beer is frowned upon in this household. I'm so glad I don't actually live here.
Literally the only reason we didnt get arrested was because the cop said I reminded him of Steve Stifler from American Pie
Drugs are gluten free tho, right?
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
Idk you're asking me for advice on dating bro, after I told you I got a convicts number today.
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
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