Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
There's a lady carrying her kids toy animals in a crown royal bag. Mom of the year.
I just don't have the heart to tell my mom you peed in our washer machine last night.
Based on how hungover I feel today, it makes more sense that the bouncer didn't let me in to that bar.
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
Saw my boss's vagina at that party. Hung over at work has never been more acceptable
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
Someone came in the potted fern
Last night you said you were going to stop drinking and then proceeded to dip cookies in your vodka.
Sadly that explains a lot.
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
So this morning when I woke up. I found my refrigerator open and no more food. It was empty, I'm home alone for the week. Where in hell did that food go?
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
I just made myself 3 peanut butter sammies because I was too hungry to watch porn
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