no weekend plans? you're practically married
just without the last name or joint bank account
i'd advise against both
as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
So you walked 4 miles to get home but stopped by the store first to get a vegetable tray? How drunk were you?
Always thought my first night in jail would consist of fire and a bunny suit.
drunk me just left notes all around the apt to remind shitfaced me that i have mashed potatoes in the fridge. do not take them down if you come home before me.
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
New guy at work just gave me a Percocet for my headache. Officially best friends
Do you remember peeing in the sink while I was throwing up?
No ma'am, I do not. I found a video of us trying to do a trust fall though. Emphasis on the trying.
All I remember is allowing my uber driver to pull over on the side of the road to give me a massage. I was alone
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
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