If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
So, do you ever feel like EVERY SINGLE ONE OF YOUR FRIENDS IS INVOLVED IN A MASSIVE AND INTRICATE CONSPIRACY TO COCKBLOCK YOU AT ALL COSTS?
I opened up my wallet and it was filled with puke.
Happiness is watching your asshole boss' police DUI video.
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
I feel bad for her, but I feel like she's one of those resource-raping alien civilizations that visits planets, decimates them and then leaves. Those really aren't the qualities I appreciate in a friend. Ya know?
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
You know what a wolf looks like when it kills a small animal? How it shakes it around in it's mouth? I did that to a bag of Taco Bell last night
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.
I JUST HAD TO SNORT THE REST OF MY BAG OF COKE BECAUSE THE BAG RIPPED IN THE WORK BATHROOM.
I'm guessing you feel amazing due to all the caps?
LETS GET THIS SHIT DONE. IM GONNA GET THIS SHIT DONE, FOREVER.
WHERE THE FUCK AM I? AND WHO PUT DUCK TAPE ON MY NIPPLES! MY NIPPLES!!!!!!
Wait til you see what we did to Dave. Hairy bastard will never be the same
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
Randomize
