So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
FYI... At my funeral, it will be your job to throw yourself dramatically onto my casket.
Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
not allowed to tweet this cos she's following me but i definitely just got head in a stairwell of the university of chicago. wanted you all to know.
Tonight I think I'm going to go out with a french braid so I don't wake up with puke hair. Thoughts?
And your mom thought you weren't even thinking about your future... she would be proud
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
Randomize
