You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
Some 6 yr old girl just got on my plane in St. Louis. She was wearing an I Love Canada shirt. She eyed the seat next to me and I stared her straight in the eyes and shook my head. Fuck her. Fuck canada.
She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
I was on hold waiting for customer service at verizon so we obviously we had enough time to have sex, i just put the phone on speaker
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
And you will no longer be getting a thank you note from my vagina
There's a naked man in my car right now.
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
THIS MOTHERFUCKING ROOSTER
IT KEEPS CHASING ME BACK IN THE HOUSE
FUCK THIS BIRD
That's how pantless uber rides happen
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
One day I'm going to get tired of waking up and wondering where the glow sticks on the floor came from.
Randomize
