he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
Either I'm spending too much time drinking or my perfume is starting to smell like a pineapple vodka.
He fell on top of me at a party. I slept with him a week later. We've been fucking for 2 moths. Most successful relationship ever.
Please tell me how I go from a guy with a coke problem to a cop. My own life doesn't even make sense to me anymore
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Literally sucked a dick for ten seconds before I said to myself, this tiny ass penis isn't worth it. My night last night
I mean I know I'll get over it by like tonight but ew ew eww. I cannot. Dude I don't even know his name also I threw up on his penis
I rocked his world in the back of my car in an overly-lit, heavily trafficked parking lot. Middle age is amazing!
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
I vaguely remember ordering a water at some point last night. It's good to know drunk me can still be responsible.
I don't mean to alarm you but are the strongest testicles in the family. I just learned I can lift 90 lb with my balls! Beat that.
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