Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed
my boss made my mugshot into an 'employee of the month' poster.
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
I'm just planning on experiencing Disney as adult style as it gets. Drinking bloody mary's at dawn and telling all the kids waiting in lines how badly their future sucks and that Santa isn't real.
If kinky sex was an Olympic sport they would be playing the anthem for me as we speak.
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
You said "I'm not gonna waste my last condom on you" last night.
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
Nothing says "i love you" more than flowers and potatoes
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
Randomize
