we need to drink 2009 down the drain
hot ketchup is not a substitute for marinara
My dealer, who also happens to be a male stripper, just invited me to watch him perform tonight. Boundaries buddy, boundaries.
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
considering I showed up there after a xanax, 2 bottles of champagne and some coke, no shirt and someone else s husband... I'm sure you can figure that one out.
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
And to top it off I think that was the first time in history that anyone has used "oh just taking care of her grandmother and doing porn" in the same sentence.
Got with someone dressed up as Allen from the hangover so that's where I'm at in life
So my flight takes off at 8am. Does this mean I need to break my airport bar pre-flight ritual?
Aren't you the one who taught me that airports are the judgement-free drinking zone?
You know you're good at multi-tasking if you can get a lap dance from someone while simultaneously eating a burrito.
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
If I call him daddy should I get him a father's day card? Serious question
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
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