why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
He paid me to blow him while doing a handstand. Does that make me a whore or just a budding gymnast?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Note to self: Do not bring gift bag with cock ring inside to family Christmas. Leave to unwrap at home.
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
I bet George Washington got SERIOUS head back in his hay day.
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
How much do you charge for your Funyun and beer delivery service?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm texting you the word "cockring" because I feel it hasn't been said enough throughout our friendship.
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
your life is going to be an empowering working mom montage tomorrow to Katy P's ROAR... --are you living in a yoplaít comercial?
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
2016 is coming through for me, I'm renaming it the year of great dick
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
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