please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
I got an 8 ball and a free entrance pass to the strip club, if i dont get laid tonight I never will.
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
Just coerced a Santa to buy me a handle. Tis the season.
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
Pretty sure the nurse said at one point I was in full restraints because I tried surfing my stretcher
I appreciate you letting me know that the bird died but why didn't you do something about the corpse? or at least give me a heads up that it was still in the cage..Jesus
you have no idea how hungover I am. I can't deal with death right now.
Yeah, it was all very half-hearted. In the middle of sex we both just stopped and looked at each other and said, "can we just sleep instead?"
That is so sad.
ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will.
I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for
Ugh. He got her for secret santa. Idk what to get. Idk what she's into.
... other people's boyfriends.
As a paramedic, it's completely unacceptable to black out on a monday. I cant handle 3 dollar shot night.
We won like $80 last night at the casino, so if we get the Plan B we still have enough to get your basic bitch latte from Dunkin. Calm down.
Randomize
