how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
He said he had to make up a lie of why he couldnt sleep with her. It must really suck to have a sunburned dick.
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
Did you rob me and blame it on the strippers?
I stumbled in at 6am to find my cat in the window making a noise I've never heard her make. When I went to the window there was a goat outside staring at us.
Are you sure? Or did you just think there was a goat?
No there was a goat. I gave it a donut.
I just sent him 3 long ass texts about how to tell a girl how he feels. I should get a fucking friend zone medal.
I will make you one.
Good. It needs "forever alone" engraved on it
My roommate definitely just walked in on me playing the piano naked.
By piano you mean.....
Like literally a piano.
Ohhhh that's kind of embarrassing.
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
Decided to smoke a bowl in my closet while my parents are gone. Just sat in the closet because I couldn't remember how to get out. Started panicking cuz I thought they were gonna show up... Checked my phone. It's been 4 minutes.
All I remember was you telling him there was something behind him so he would turn around and you could slide down his carpeted stairs on your belly without a shirt on. How's that carpet burn btw?
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
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