oh man you're gonna hate me when you log onto facebook. remember i love you
I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
its 10 pm and i am cleaning vomit off the ceiling. i am nowhere near drunk enough for this to be funny.
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
he sneezed into my face mid-kiss
Bless his heart
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
I think he is using me to sort through his relationship issues, past and present. I did not sign up for this. All I want is booty. Am I the dude in this relationship?
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