Ever have the mailman look at you like youre a chronic masterbator. I have.
Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
I'm an EMT, not a miracle worker. No, I can't fix your sprained dick.
I'm having mini little movies in my head. Like for example. You were talking to a blue whale with jazz man sunglasses, but not the ray charles jazz sunglass. More like sunglasses that are round. Anyway, he has a baguette and stupid french hat. And you , you had your harry potter glasses.
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
Two ladies just showed up with my fucking purse. It was in the fucking street. I'm a train wreck. As a financial advisor, this shouldn't happen. I should be an adult.
I have bruises all over my body. Seriously, I'm a train wreck. I'm too damn old for hangovers like this.
I told my manager I was trying to conserve my energy for date night/Sexual Olympics later. That's legit for another break, right?
You made noises. And kept meowing. I have a twenty minute phone call to prove it.
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
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