All I want to do right now is burp, puke, and fart. In that order.
She told me to "stuff her hole like a build-a-bear". I was so drunk I didn't even think that was weird.
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
Maybe you should start carrying pepper spray. You are like the Justin Bieber of lesbians.
If our text convos ever saw the light of day lives would be in tatters
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
Tinder in Coventry is like browsing a gallery of mugshots from Azkaban
When he pulled out it sounded like a balloon deflating
your mission the party friday: cockblock me at ALL costs. I've cheated on my boyfriend twice. I feel like three times would be crossing some sort of line...
and no, I don't care how how hot he is
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