Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
i just ate something from under my fingernail. i dont know what it was, but it tasted half decent
His idea of a romantic evening was shotgunning Keystones. What a keeper.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
i think i left my bra at your place
It's still hanging from my ceiling fan. Please let me keep it there.
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
Hey remember that thing i said about never apologizing for being a hot mess? Well that was before you found me drunk in the hallway with no pants.
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That's true. There's really no bad time to take a Vicodin.
It is the Reeses peanut butter cup of pharmaceuticals.
We're so stoned that were both cuddling on the couch and crying over Forest Gump while eating popcorn. She asked me if I'd fuck away the sadness. I think she's serious.
Being able to fart in her presence and not be judged is why I pay half the rent.
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
My moms new boyfriend looks like Stu Pickles if he was in a biker gang. He gave me free coke though, so come party?
Sorry about kicking you last night but you don’t mess with a girls margarita bucket. Ever
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