just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton.
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
I'm guessing "whatever I can get" wasn't the reply the nurse wanted when asking what med I need. Oh, and asked for a cartoon band-aid.
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
Facebook stalking ex-girlfriends who went to rehab. This is my life.
The fact that there are multiple ex-girlfriends who have been to rehab concerns me
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
She was wearing American flag underwear. How could I NOT fuck her?
You're a true patriot.
So as you were leaving, you leaned on the table too much and 3 glasses slid and fell to the floor. You then looked at me and said "To be honest, glass isnt that expensive anyways" and stumbled out of the bar.
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
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