she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
You'd think the dry cleaners next door would be less judgmental for as much business as my theme parties bring them.
I had not one but two drunk coworkers text me and hit on me tonight. I feel like I've finally been accepted into my dysfunctional workplace
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
What's the procedure for answering a booty call from someone under house arrest?
On the bright side, only one more day until we aren't sober anymore.
He kept saying "Welcome to Indianapolis" over and over while we were having sex...because that's his hometown. I was scared and confused... I didn't know if I should have said thank you or what.
I'm not totally useless... You can use me as an example of what not to do
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
Randomize
