If immigrants and dwarves find love, why can't I?
ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
I just found a dead bug in my nose. if that's the worst thing up there im considdering myself lucky.
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
he keeps trying to sext me and all I can do is respond with descriptions of what im eating.
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
When I die I just want my headstone to my name, date of birth-death, and TEQUILA!!
I don't get it. Why have babies when you can have vodka?
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
I may or may not be drunker than time right now.
She called and said she was waiting for me naked. I got there and she was in ratty sweats, sitting in Nick's lap, with divorce papers. Needless to say my night was shitty.
Randomize
