she was drooling, sharted in her sleep, rolled over stuck her hand under the covers pulled it back out, smelled it and moaned and rolled back over. i almost added puke to the disgusting bodily fluid category.
If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
I truly don't know anything about sober relationships. Normally I would just drunkenly yell "sex?" in a guy's face. What do I do now? Be like, sooo uhhh, wanna do it? Awkward, and even worse, I will remember clearly just how awkward it was.
remember the used condom we threw behind my bed? my mom found it and is accusing me and making a big deal out of it,
Haha! You pissed me off, so I actually told her to go look behind your bed. Good thing I moved to Nevada, so your dad can't kick my ass. Good luck bitch.
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
Remember that pineapple I soaked in vodka last month? Just found it- nothing is growing on it? Think it's safe?
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
He's tweaking out . If he's on fucking bathsalts and eats my face like a chalupa pull the plug. I don't want to live with no fucking face. Pull. The. Plug.
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
She curled up in the corner, screamed "THE BLANKET IS SO WARM" and promptly passed out with her face in the dogbed. No one bothered to reposition her.
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
Yeah, but i got vodka and bacon out of it, so it's fine.
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